The Passion that Keeps Me Going

           Every Wednesday this school year I have been going to this organization called Spero Project. Which is this thing where OBU college students drive to the City to a refugee complex and play with and minister to the many different kids and families that live there. Yesterday was our last one this year and all I can say is how tremendous of a blessing it has been to me. I could be in tears just writing this right now.

            The beginning of the school year I just randomly heard about this organization and decided to give it shot. But the first experience of my attempt to go was not so “attractive”. This is because the co-chair got a call from the main Spero leaders and they said the complex was having problems and that we could not come. It was alarming that this would happen the first week but for some reason I was so intrigued with the idea of ministering to refugees and felt like God was tugging on my heart to go.

            So, I went the next week. And let me tell you I was sold for the rest of the year from those two very short hours. I was so ecstatic when coming back from Spero Project, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t sleep that night!(I know, I get way to excited about everything!) I just knew this was the perfect organization for me throughout college since I have such a love for cross-cultural ministry and kids.

            And if you know me, I am one those people when I get excited about something I tend to tell EVERYBODY! So, that is exactly what I did, I told every friend I have made in college throughout this year. And lets just say, Spero Project grew A LOT this year. J

But the main point of why I am telling you about my Spero experience is because, I felt like God used that organization to save me. Throughout this whole year I have had a combination of bad test grades, unexpected gossip about me, loss of relationships, stress of academics (just some of the hardships a typical college student can go through) and every time I went to Spero, God reminded me why I was enduring those tough times in college. Despite the fact that every single time I got back from Spero I was covered in mud, dirt, blisters, and occasionally nail polish, I was always refreshed when I got to see those kids. God used them to keep my passion going when I felt like it was on the verge of running dry.

So, people will say, “It is great that you would sacrifice your time like that, you are blessing those kids.”

And all I want to do is turn to them and say “No, you got it wrong; they are blessing me.”

I will miss them so dearly this summer but can’t wait to see what God reveals to me through them next year.

So, since we are on the topic of my passion, I want to now talk about my upcoming trip to India this summer; It is 12 days away!!! I am going to be working with women saved form sex-trafficking and listening to their stories and ministering to them. It is going to be tough tough work, but all I can say is I am willing to travel across the world and live below my means because talking to those women and doing cross-cultural ministry is my passion. Because I know that I will be blessed so much more by those women than vice versa.

And, praise the Lord I have all the money raised! So, now it is just spiritually preparing myself while getting excited for the adventure that is to come.

I also will be journaling over there, so be expecting a blog post after June 3rd when I get back. I am thinking it will be a pretty good one too!

So, now let me ask you this.

What is your passion and what are you doing to keep it alive?

Thanks for reading!

Karlie

P.S. Pray for me while I am India, PLEASE!!

Not Lost but Found

This entry is going to start with a story—a not-so-funny-at-the-time-but-funny-now type of story!

Every year, the OBU Campus Activities Board (CAB) puts on a show called “Spring Affair”. In this talent showcase, students perform songs and funny skits, and friends and family watch. This year’s Spring Affair theme was “Rockumentary”, included iconic songs from many decades.

For this production, my best friend, Ali, and I were responsible for costume design. We came up with creative ways to make costumes and tailor them to each person. We even had to make Mr. Potato head! During this process, we had to stay stocked up on craft items we need to produce the costumes.

And that is where the funny story comes in. We will call it the “Wal-Mart disaster/FAIL” story:

On the night right before the show, our costume committee began to run low on supplies. As a result, Ali and I were sent to Wal-Mart and the mall to get green spray paint, safety pins, black acrylic paint, and an oversized lollipop.  Since we are broke college students, we did not want this to come out of our pockets so we brought with us the CAB Wal-Mart card.

At all times when we are together, Ali and I are acting goofy and having fun. So on the way to get supplies, we are simultaneously enjoying each other’s company and trying to get the job done.  When we realize the mall doesn’t carry lollipops, we then head to Wal-Mart (the cool place to be in Shawnee) to get the rest of the items. We went all around the store to find green spray paint, safety pins, and black acrylic paint.  Once we got these items we went to check out. Everything sounds great doesn’t it? This is where it goes wrong.

When Ali and I got to the checkout line to pay, we both checked our purses to find that the Wal-Mart card had gone missing! Ali and I were sure that it was in the car, so she pulls it around to look and no card was to be found. This is when panic mode sits in. I couldn’t help but to think, “Hmmm, my first time to show responsibility to C.A.B. and I lose the card with all the money on it!” I was determined to find that card.

First, we rummage through both of our purses and her car frantically to find it...not there.

Second, we go back to the mall, where I run inside while Ali checks the parking lot… not there.

Third, we go back to Wal-Mart, where Ali runs through the parking lot looking while I look in the store…still not there.

We went on this errand at 6:00 to get these items and didn’t return to OBU until 9:30 with the supplies…but still no card.

What is so funny about this story is that I looked SO ridiculous running through these stores looking for this card. I swear it looked like I had lost a million dollars. Because of the frantic nature of my searching, some guy even stopped and asked me if I was looking for a child–how embarrassing! But like I said, in hindsight, it is reeeallly funny.

But besides it just being funny, I actually learned something that night, perhaps one of the greatest things I have gleaned this semester. When I was running through Wal-Mart I just suddenly stopped to catch my breath. And right then, I felt as though God said to me, “Child, you know how determined you are to find that card? That is how I feel about you—and so much more.”

Those words were like peace over me. 

So, the story last weekend sadly ended with Ali and me not finding the card. BUT, guess what? That is not the case with God, because in His story we are gloriously found. And if took me losing an important card to remember that, then so be it.

Few things to think about: 

Take this as a challenge to look for God even in the littlest unexpected situations because He will surely speak. 

If you are reading this and feeling lost today, go to the Lord and he will call you by name. Even if you feel far and not findable, take heart because God has found you. I know from experience, he just never lets go of his children.

Or, if you feel confident in being found by God, take time today to celebrate! Because it is something to be rejoiced daily.

For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.- Luke 15:24

Thanks for reading!

Karlie

P.S. The Wal-Mart staff found the card in the parking lot that following Monday! 

Into the Potter's Hands

If you were to stick your arm straight out and hold a water bottle in your hand for an extended period time it would gradually cause terrible pain to the muscles. The longer you hold it, the worse the pain will become.  And if someone held the water bottle just long enough it would eventually cause permanent damage to all the muscles in the arm.

Of course, you have to be holding that water bottle for a loooong time for it to finally cause permanent damage but the point of this analogy is to exemplify what will happen if we hold on to our past hurts in our life; the longer we hold on to past hurts the more permanent damage they will cause.

I remember hearing this example at Falls Creek 2008 from my Pastor, Deron Spoo of First Baptist Church Tulsa. I was reminded of this is when I was flipping through my old “True Images Bible for Teen Girls ” a couple days ago and I saw that I wrote this Falls Creek example on my binding. (Side note: Isn’t it so great to flip through old Bibles and journals? This lets us see how God spoke to us in the past and how he has helped us mature. It encourages me to recount my life and God’s movement in it.)

When searching through my old Bible this analogy seemed to resonate with me as deeply as it did in 2008. It spoke to my heart then during one of the hardest years of my life, when I was in the midst of letting go of the past. Now after seeing this again it is speaking in a totally different way. This time it didn’t just say, “Let go of the past,” but it said, “Let go of everything--past, present, and future.”

Past, future, and present?! Really? Letting go of the present and the future would mean letting go of my dreams --dreams that have helped me become who I am today. I wouldn’t think holding on to these would cause any harm whatsoever. But, again I hear, “Let go of everything.”

And I am very good at holding on. Holding on gives me a sense of familiarity, control, and comfort. One example of this is my wardrobe. I never get rid of clothing! I think I will eventually wear that shirt or those pants someday. But guess what? I never end up wearing them. So if I can’t let go of a piece of fabric, how am I expected to let go all of my life? And how and who am I suppose to give my life?

I first had to figure out what this “everything” is and how to let go of it. I got a pretty good idea out of one scripture I read:

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24)

My everything is all of myself. This all of myself I must deny. And these things I deny are not necessarily bad (ex: my passion for missions, my zeal for life, my diligence with academics), yet I am expected to give them up. And you ask why would I give these things up? And who will I be giving them to?

I have come to realize they were not mine to begin with--they were the Lord’s. They were put in me by God so that he could use them for the kingdom.  Lately I have manipulated theses passions and skills in a way I thought would be best for my life. But I remember that the things I think are best for me end up not really being the best at all. So, I think that is why the Lord was beating this “letting go of everything” over my head. He wanted me to know that my everything belongs to him and I am just soft clay in the potter’s hands for him to mold. I just need to trust in his design.

But letting go of everything is not the end. The last part says, “Follow me.” And those words are so simple but so complex. I don’t think any attempt I make to unpack this loaded phrase will do it justice. But I think that is the way the Lord intended it to be. The simplicity of the phrase makes it easy for believers to follow, while the underlying complexity challenges us to trust in God for the answers.  

I’m letting go and following, trusting God that my life will be enriched and faith will be produced. This is what the potter wants for my life, and this is also what he wants for yours.

Care to join me?

Thanks for reading!

Karlie

The God of Socrates

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.― Socrates

This quote has been deeply resonating with me this past month. I just can’t get this old dead guy’s repeating words out of my head! I was curious as to why this was and now I know the reason. SO, let me explain.        

This semester I am enrolled in the class, Introduction to Philosophy. And let me tell you, this class is nothing but confusion. But despite the overwhelming criteria, I have also found it to be very intriguing.  I think I have noticed how Philosophy has a way of getting back to the essentials of life and asks the questions I forget to ask. You know, simple overlooked questions like:                                       

“Why are we here?”

 “Who put us here?”

“What is humanity’s purpose?”

But now I am challenging myself to actually seek the answers to these questions.

Before I took on this challenge I would always find myself extremely upset when I questioned the Nature of God and his purpose. Almost as if I had done the most unspeakable thing a follower of Christ can do. I would think being a Christian opted me out of asking answers to these realities. But I think that is exact opposite of how God would want us to act. And I can say that I have come to the understanding these questions should be asked by Christians.

You want to know why I can say that?

This past month its almost as if the world has been opened up with these new questions my Philosophy class has permitted me to ask now. The more I ask them, the more God proves himself greater. God wants us to ask these questions so we can seek, find, and know the truth confidently. That he ultimately is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. And he has humanity here for a reason and purpose.

But after seeking the answer, I also come to the realization that no matter how many questions I ask, I will never even come close to knowing everything. Actually the more insight I find, the more this realization becomes clearer, increasing the gap between me and obtaining ultimate knowledge.

Hmmmm, don’t you feel the quote replaying itself now?

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”

Wow. I feel humbled. This world of knowledge is so large and I am so small. God is more than I can ever fathom, that even my deepest questions and answers can never fully describe his character.

And that is a God I want to serve.

Thanks for reading!

Karlie

A Season of Drought

The silence of God can be the most piercing sound.

Lately I have felt a huge burden on my heart to speak about something a “good Christian” doesn’t like to admit. It’s about the seasons when we feel distant from God, regardless of personal bible study or church attendance. In times like these, it seems as if God has cupped his hands over his mouth to play the silent game. And guess what? He is winning.

As Christians, we sometimes look down upon the people who say they don’t feel near to God. Like a Pharisee, we wag our finger and pull out at long list and say, “Have you being doing your daily spiritual chores?” This shows our lack of perspective, because some of my driest moments have reminded me that I am human and in need of a savior. But when we are spiritually dry, where do we find comfort?

The world or the word?  

I have just finished my first J-term, a time at OBU when students have the opportunity to take a short-term course in January. This year I took Old Testament, which required me to read almost all of the first 39 books of the Bible in a three-week period. I learned so much from this class—especially a better understanding of God’s immeasurable love for us. In reading through most of the Old Testament, one story spoke to me above all the others. It was the book of Esther.

Esther is the tale of a Jewish woman who begins the book as an orphan but later becomes the wife of King Xerxes. (Talk about a Cinderella story !) What impressed me about Esther was her boldness. She was willing to risk her life by asking King Xerxes to stop the decree that would kill all Jewish people. She actually hid her Jewish identity from King Xerxes, which put her in an even riskier position. Because of her influence, the decree was lifted, and all Jewish people lived. So, an unexpected God-fearing woman became the key component in saving the Jewish people. This is definitely a story that the Lord orchestrated!

But do you want to know what really hit me about this story? In the book of Esther God’s name wasn’t mentioned once. Why? To me, it symbolizes that regardless of whether we hear or see God, he has already planned out our story and will remain unwavering. He will use your life and mine as a powerful testimony for Jesus. This helps me understand and realize that my dry seasons are just crucial in my life as my not-so-dry seasons. Even though my human vision is narrow, God’s overall vision is unfathomable. So I will trust that he knows exactly what he is doing.

So during the times I feel as if God is silent I will cling onto the word and pray. Because no matter what my human emotions and knowledge determine as a “dry season”, my God will ALWAYS be faithful.

Oh, how nice it is to be adopted by Christ!

Desert Song

By: Hillsong United

Verse 1:

This is my prayer in the desert

And all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in the hunger in me

My God is a God who provides

Chorus:

And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

Thanks for reading!

Karlie

Ps. Please be praying for my upcoming mission trip this summer to India!

Things to be thankful for in College

Warning: I typed this really fast because I wanted to get it out on New Years Eve, so excuse the typos! But These are some things I have become thankful for during my first semester of college.

1) Oklahoma Baptist University

OBU is preparing me to become the woman of Christ I want to be. The academics of this school have been helping me attain skills that will benefit me for a successful future. But the best part is the teachers who really care about the students and how they incorporate faith in Christ in what they are teaching. My friends tease me that I am OBU’s spokesperson because when I am asked what my favorite part of OBU is, I say, “How they integrate faith and learning.” But, it’s true! I have always had a public education and now I am at a place where I can talk freely about Christ and really be challenged in my theological views. And to me that is an opportunity I want to take full advantage of!

The social aspect of OBU has also been wonderful! The most fun I had this semester was joining my flag football team, Victorious Secret. The girls I got to play with and the guys that agreed to coach made it an experience I will never forget! I never knew much about the game of football ( I mean, really, I thought a “fumble” was pronounced “thumble.” How embarrassing!) but the coaches were patient with the team and really helped us come together and have fun. And now I catch myself watching football games on TV and enjoying it because I really understand what’s going on! The best is that the girls that I played with and the guys that coached have really become like my sisters and brothers; it’s funny what playing sports can do!

 

                                                      
                                                              The exciting night when we made it into "A" League

2)  The fantastic girls that I have met

I prayed so much before college that the Lord would provide me with Godly Christian girls that would encourage me and always be reliable. And the Lord provided! My friends are SO much fun to be around! I can’t stop smiling when I think about how blessed I am because of them. And each girl I have gotten to know is unique, but at the same time have so much in common with me. And I know if I ever am having a really rough day with school they will be there to comfort me (and buy me a Twix bar!) and if I am ever having a boring day they will always find a way to make me laugh for hours. I have been able to have the most in depth and theological conversations I have ever had with these girls. They all have such genuine hearts and I am so privileged to have them in my life and get to see the amazing things they will do for Christ someday.

We also set up a girls bible study that met once a week at an OBU senior girls house. We went over a study about not putting idols before God in life and leaning on solely the Lord for comfort. And I feel like this journey through scripture and conversation has helped me grow stronger in my faith and in fellowship. It was great to discuss different issues or problems each girl was facing and talk through it. We even started to realize that some of the other girls were going through the same exact things!

I am excited to start this back up when I get back from break!

                                      The girls of our bible study!

3) My wonderful family that has been so supportive.

            

            They have been there to both encourage and rejoice about all the aspects of my first college semester. When I was crying about the first D I made on my Chemistry test they were there to comfort me. They would let me now that regardless God would make all things work out for his good.  (And somehow I ended up with an unexpected A in the class!) And when I found out I made it in Campus Activities Board they were there to congratulate and be excited for me because it was a new step in my journey. And when I just wanted a weekend to relax and unwind from all the busyness of college, I could always go home to Tulsa and expect a delicious home cooked meal waiting.  I couldn’t have made it through this semester without them. And as I am typing this they are in the other room getting ready to celebrate New Years and I can’t help thinking that they made not just this semester but this whole year an incredible one. 

                                     Mark and Kathryn, what a blessing they have been!

                                   4)  And the ministry the God has faithfully put in my life.

This semester God was able to use me in great ways. The Lord really taught me that if you really invest your time with people and genuinely care about their being, so many beneficial relationships can be formed. I have been able to have individual conversations with many different freshman girls that are going through the same dilemmas of college as me and also listen to their stories and testimonies. Just doing that has helped me grow in my own walk with God and expand my ministry. I can’t wait to meet even more girls during the spring!

I have had the opportunity to work with Spero Project, which is an urban refugee ministry in Oklahoma City. I have gotten to play with children from countries like Malaysia and Sudan, and hang out with their parents and have great conversations. Even though at times there can be a language barrier, it is great just to be able to sit in their apartments and enjoy company. It has been a very humbling experience and has been a great break for me during the craziness of the school week. The Wednesday before I left one little girl I have gotten to know asked what the exact day would be when I came back in January. And it made my heart melt just knowing that both the children and I have grown mutual love for each other. I am hoping to build more strong relationships with the families at the complex so I may share Jesus with them. So keep that in your prayers! 

I was also presented with the wonderful opportunity to go on another mission trip. This time I am getting to go to India and work with girls saved from sex trafficking and be able to show them the love of Christ. And oh, I am SOOO excited! I have caught myself spending hours looking on Google search at pictures of India or researching the organization I am going to be working with. I just get really excited when I think about more people being introduced to the hope that the gospel brings. Even though some won’t admit it, everyone needs a little hope in the midst of the world we live in and Jesus Christ is the only one that can give it. And I’m so thankful that I get to be a messenger of that news.

                                      My friends and I wearing the headbands the Spero kids made for us!

I can’t even begin to list everything that I am thankful about my first semester of college and I’m so excited to see the blessings that the Lord will provide during the spring!

I hope everyone is having a great New Years and starting to get excited for the fresh start of 2012!

    He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. - Ecclesiastes 3:11

Thanks for reading!

Karlie

How Would You Define Yourself?

Being “you” can be one of the most challenging things to do. Heck, even just finding “you” can be a terribly hard task.  There is so much influence in this world telling you what to be, and ironically enough it actually can impede people from just simply being.       

I want to be who I am, but  who am I? How would I define myself? I would say I am bubbly, encouraging, and hardworking (I am my father’s daughter). I am sometimes stubborn, loud (yet with the tendency to sometimes be shy), easily frightened, and quick to worry. I am also optimistic, diligent, fond of meaningful long talks and quality time, and a Christ follower; I can think of a long list of things.

Lately I have been thinking about everything that makes me, me. I have meditated on those descriptions and how they have been affected, for good or bad,  by others since I have been at college. And in this process of pondering I started to dwell on what it really meant to be defined as a “Christ follower.” And as I did I started to understand more than I have ever understood before that my identity is really found in Christ ALONE.

Two things have been a key influence in my life for Christ and in how to be myself. Those two things are: the book “So Long Insecurity” By Beth Moore and the most influential of the two, my best friend and mentor, Kathryn Johnson. 

I read the book “So Long Insecurity” this past summer for a women’s bible study and it greatly impacted me. It really taught me what it means to be secure in who I am, and that regardless of trials I will always be “clothed with strength and dignity” that comes from Christ.  I began to understand the persistent fear in people of not being secure, and this can cause one to follow what society presents as comfort and appealing. And if you truly replace fear with God you find fulfilling comfort and a strong identity.

Perhaps more than anyone else, Kathryn Johnson has helped me understand what it truly means to be a genuine spirit. While this is only one aspect of my life this wonderful woman has changed forever, it is likely the most significant.  She is a “free spirit” in every sense of the word.  She shows me that it is okay to be, well, kind of weird. (But everyone is weird in some way!) The best part about Kathryn is that Jesus is always at the center of who she is. She passionately loves him and follows his guidance. At the end of the day, she does not care what world tells her to be. She only cares about who God wants her to be. Witnessing this has been such an encouragement and blessing to me. She helped guide me back to finding myself again when life had let me forgotten. I love her, and I love most of all that she let God use her to speak to and mentor me.

So now I am at the point to where I am starting to fully comprehend what it is to be fully defined by Christ. And I’m not going to let others restrict me from being unique since that’s how the Lord has made me. I use to want to worry about how people perceive me and if they agreed with path I’m taking for my life. But now, I have come to the realization that I shouldn’t worry since everyday I do make the conscious decision to die to my sinful self so that Christ can live within me.  So If I make this confession with all sincerity and follow His ways I am following His will regardless if it fits others standards. And additionally I don’t believe society should be intertwined with this claimed identity anyways.

The acceptance from humans is so fragile, but God’s acceptance is never-ending. So no longer should I ask myself if I fit the mold that others expect. I would much rather be happy than perfect. I don’t need the pressure to have qualities the world says to be desirable because the one quality I should be relentlessly seeking is to be like Jesus. I’m appreciative for the fact I can always rely on God for any situation; but especially when I doubt who I am. In His word I‘m constantly reminded of His sovereignty and because of Him I will always be a beautiful, complete, and fulfilled me! 

So, now that I have said my piece I am going to go rock out to Demi Lovato's song "This is Me (Acoustic Version)" on my iTunes :)

Thanks for reading!

Karlie