The silence of God can be the most piercing sound.
Lately I have felt a huge burden on my heart to speak about something a “good Christian” doesn’t like to admit. It’s about the seasons when we feel distant from God, regardless of personal bible study or church attendance. In times like these, it seems as if God has cupped his hands over his mouth to play the silent game. And guess what? He is winning.
As Christians, we sometimes look down upon the people who say they don’t feel near to God. Like a Pharisee, we wag our finger and pull out at long list and say, “Have you being doing your daily spiritual chores?” This shows our lack of perspective, because some of my driest moments have reminded me that I am human and in need of a savior. But when we are spiritually dry, where do we find comfort?
The world or the word?
I have just finished my first J-term, a time at OBU when students have the opportunity to take a short-term course in January. This year I took Old Testament, which required me to read almost all of the first 39 books of the Bible in a three-week period. I learned so much from this class—especially a better understanding of God’s immeasurable love for us. In reading through most of the Old Testament, one story spoke to me above all the others. It was the book of Esther.
Esther is the tale of a Jewish woman who begins the book as an orphan but later becomes the wife of King Xerxes. (Talk about a Cinderella story !) What impressed me about Esther was her boldness. She was willing to risk her life by asking King Xerxes to stop the decree that would kill all Jewish people. She actually hid her Jewish identity from King Xerxes, which put her in an even riskier position. Because of her influence, the decree was lifted, and all Jewish people lived. So, an unexpected God-fearing woman became the key component in saving the Jewish people. This is definitely a story that the Lord orchestrated!
But do you want to know what really hit me about this story? In the book of Esther God’s name wasn’t mentioned once. Why? To me, it symbolizes that regardless of whether we hear or see God, he has already planned out our story and will remain unwavering. He will use your life and mine as a powerful testimony for Jesus. This helps me understand and realize that my dry seasons are just crucial in my life as my not-so-dry seasons. Even though my human vision is narrow, God’s overall vision is unfathomable. So I will trust that he knows exactly what he is doing.
So during the times I feel as if God is silent I will cling onto the word and pray. Because no matter what my human emotions and knowledge determine as a “dry season”, my God will ALWAYS be faithful.
Oh, how nice it is to be adopted by Christ!
Desert Song
By: Hillsong United
Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Thanks for reading!
Karlie
Ps. Please be praying for my upcoming mission trip this summer to India!
