Lately, I have struggled with the idea of being perfect… What?!
No girl ever struggles with that, right? (sarcasm). And I have got to say God
has been showing me ways to release this anxiety in me. To live life in peace
with being perfectly imperfect.
And God has shown this to me by being sick a lot this semester...
I came into this semester with mono… then I got strep… then
I got a cold… then I got better… then as I am writing this I have a cold again.
Seriously, what gives?! I take a one-a-day vitamin and try to eat
fairly healthy (although sometimes eating a half jar of Nutella is too tempting! J) so why do I keep
getting so sick? Well, I still do not know the answer but getting sick again has reminded me of what God has shown me through it.
Soooo…. It started with sleeping through one of my first
Greek classes this semester because I was sick. And if you go to OBU, you know
that you NEVER miss Greek class because it’s like an implied competition once
you enroll (dramatic). But after I missed that class, (Warning: this is ridiculous) I
cried sporadically throughout the day! My boyfriend had to tell me “Get some
perspective! Are you taking Greek as a competition or because you genuinely
want to read the Bible in Greek?” (P.S. I am thankful for his bluntness, haha!)
If I was honest with myself at the time, I would have to say the former… but
since then, this has definitely changed. It changed because I realized sickness was not in my control but my attitude about it is; I can choose to be anxious or I can choose to do the best I can. And really, learning Greek should not and is not a competition!
What has really changed this anxiety is really embracing that God has
only used ONE perfect being in history to fulfill His will; and that was Jesus.
Other than that, God has used imperfect beings since the Garden of Eden to put
together the Bible and spread the gospel (I mean C’mon read the Book of Acts,
PAUL BEFORE HE ACCEPTED JESUS KILLED CHRISTIANS!) God uses the imperfect for
His perfect will. God just wants us to be faithful.
Not to say that we should not pursue God’s righteousness and
seek to please him through our actions but we should not be anxious. He says in
the Sermon on the Mount to not be anxious about ANYTHING, that even when we
make mistakes to keep moving. And being sick is nothing in my control, so there
is no need to be anxious about missing that Greek class. Ultimately, no one was
disappointed in me that day; I put that pressure on myself.
So three truths I have been telling myself to counter my
anxieties about failure are:
I am a daughter of
the one true high King.
I will always keep
going even when it is hard.
I am always willing
to learn
For some reason, those three simple truths have been making
my life a little more peaceful lately so I thought I would share!
So I challenge you to write on piece paper:
I WILL NOT BE ANXIOUS ABOUT _________
And then write three truths about yourself.
Not saying that I have the ultimate way to get rid of
anxiety about failure but I am just trying to extend this blessing to you all!
So moral of the story is, don’t take Greek as a competition…
Take it because you want to genuinely know the Bible.
In other words, life is not a competition stop comparing yourself
to others and causing anxiety. But, follow God’s plan that he has set for you not the person sitting next to you.
An
anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
-Proverbs 12:15
Thanks for reading this random blog post!
Karlie
