Who Do I Want To Be?

          Who do I want to be? That is basically what people are wondering when they ask what major I have selected. I’m 18. How am I really supposed to know what career I want to pursue? But in spite of this, in full confidence I selected nursing as my major. I took an interest in nursing ever since my cousin from California told me during my 9^th grade summer that nursing is in high demand and would guarantee me a job. But I am graduated, in fact college is only 4 days away now, and I am starting to question my motive behind choosing nursing as my major. Have I chosen it out of security or out of genuine interest? In a way, I feel like I am experiencing a mid-life crisis except for I haven’t even come close to my mid-life and I have a lot time to change the path I take. So I guess what I am really getting at is, I have been doubting who I am and what I want to do lately. And I am sure that is natural at this time in life, but I still really don’t know if I am putting enough trust in God’s security and plan instead of my own.            

            When searching for colleges my senior year I looked at schools that had nursing, because I was sure that was what I wanted to do.  I eventually decided on Oklahoma Baptist University, which has a fantastic nursing program and is a great college of liberal arts. I am 100% positive that I have selected the right school, especially since it will encourage me in my walk with God, but I am questioning if I am going to fulfill what I need to be fulfilling there.  So you might ask what sparked this self-doubt? Well it’s kind of ironic; it started from taking up a volunteer position at a local pediatric hospital this summer. When I applied for the job I was expecting to get some on the scene nursing experience but, the volunteer coordinator asked if I would help at the greeting desk instead. I would be making sure that people have visitor’s badges and also checking children in for their appointments. So at first, I wasn’t too thrilled about the idea but I was reminded that any position I take could honor God it just depends on the outlook I have, so I gladly agreed.  The first day of work, I realized that during my shifts I had a lot of free time and that I could do something more productive than staring at a wall. So I took on the challenge of reading as many books as I could before the summer ended and I ended up reading ten books I also decided that the books I would read would be influential Christian books. The list is:

• So Long Insecurity By: Beth Moore
• Heaven Is For Real By: Todd Burpo
• Because He Loves Me By: Elyse Fitzpatrick
• Sacred Marriage By: Gary Thomas
• Radical By: David Platt
• Screw Tape Letters By: C.S. Lewis
• Prodigal God By: Tim Keller
• Million Miles In a Thousand Years By: Donald Miller
• Blue Like Jazz By: Donald Miller
• Father Fiction By: Donald Miller

Within these hundreds of pages I read I began to realize the love for reading and writing that I deeply had.  I also sparked my love for writing this summer since I decided to take advice from a friend to write about my life since it would be encouraging for others to read. I started to write about some influential instances in my life that have molded me to become who I am in Christ and have about 6 different stories I have worked on this summer. It has helped release things I wanted to release and focus on things that I needed to  focus on. I have enjoyed it and it has also been very therapeutic for me. So the reason why I say the situation is ironic is because I went into this volunteer position hoping to find a greater love for nursing but I ended up finding a greater love for literature and writing; something completely opposite. So it made me question what I really wanted to do nursing for. I never was that interested in my biology classes but I always found an interest in reading, writing, and history classes. The reason I mention my interest in history classes is for the reason that history is pretty much a huge story and I love stories. I just get a kick out of listening to elders talk about events in their past.  And not to brag but I think I am pretty good storyteller myself.  So what would make me not want to write?

I mean you go to college to pursue something your interested in not to pursue something that will make you just feel safe. But I haven’t totally written the whole nursing idea off. (Pun intended) Nursing would be a great profession for me since I am planning on getting a minor in missions and doing some long-term over seas work.  I think even in the United States it would be a great career opportunity to minister and help people.  That’s what makes this whole thing conflicting. So I have decided to keep an open mind about the whole ordeal and think about it as an adventure. Also thinking about how I would choose nursing as a career for security has reminded me that I need to trust in God for comfort instead of trying to resort to what the world says will give me comfort. My pastor just spoke about that this past Sunday. He said that we are so quick to settle for the cheap substitute of joy the world offers instead of accepting the free real joy that Christ has to bring.  

So this now leads me to tell you why I am starting this blog. I am writing this blog in efforts to see if writing is something I really enjoy and something I can honor God while doing. I named it “Living in Timely Writing” because I always think of God as my Author (along with Father, Friend, Alpha O Mega) that is writing my story and intricately placing the words in the right places. So I looked up the exact definition of timely on Dictionary.com and it said:

“time·ly/ˈtīmlē/Adjective: Done or occurring at a favorable or useful time”

And I believe that God has me here on this earth on His “favorable or useful ” timing, I just have to trust in Him and be the best I can be. So I am going to step into college willing to accept the whole experience as a journey. I don’t need to have everything planned out. I mean I never really have to have anything in my life planned out; I just need faith.  So in the midst of my sporadic college melt downs, nervousness, and excitement I will trust in God for He is good and I know He will make college a learning experience I will never forget. And as for my major I will just have to see what interests me the most!

Thanks for Reading!

Karlie