Oh, college.

           College.  I have come to learn that one word can mean many different things to people. It could mean music, academics, arts, first loves, crazy parties, goofy mascot costumes, intense competitive sports teams, lifelong friends, etc.  But what does college mean to me? Well I can tell you, that one word has kind of consumed my life lately and given me stress beyond all measure. And at this moment I just woke up from a nap because I studied until 2 A.M. the night before for my New Testament class not because I procrastinated but I just haven’t learned the secret to time management yet. SO what does college mean to me? Well I think anybody can assume I haven’t really reached that conclusion yet but I thought that a good blog post about it might help remind me why I should be here.

            Truth be told, this transition is so difficult. I feel like I am balancing so many different things at once.  I have to think about school, the friends I am making, what activities I am getting involved in, and many other things. But what the hardest part has been is embracing the new and letting go of the familiar.  I am person who likes to have a set structure and going to college has made every aspect of my life different.  The fear of failing in one area has terrified me and my default is to worry excessively. I want to succeed in all I do but sometimes I over analyze the situation to where it makes the experience not enjoyable. All of these things were starting to eat at me. When I first got to college I did not go to God with these constant fears and stresses in my heart, I just took them upon my own soldiers hoping for the best.  But then I started to realize, my worries and stresses are nothing compared to how big God is, plus they are just weighing me down. So why am I trying to put them as idols in my life?

I have been trying to remember lately that God will show me what is the right major, give me the right friends I need, and guide my path to where it’s the most glorifying to him. But I need to remind myself before He can do any of those things there is one thing I need to do; I need to let go.  Have you ever just let everything go before and have complete trust in Him? I have heard that God always seems to find a way to show His sons and daughters that there is freedom in His name once you let go of the strongholds in your life. I am in the process of letting go of worry and stress and it is a scary feeling. But ironically enough I am simultaneously inheriting peace and comfort from God.  It’s starting to become clear that even if I do fail, the Holy Spirit can give me the strength to get back up, become stronger, and keep going.

I know I am here because of God. I know am here to become a better woman of Christ. I know am here to educate myself. I know am here to minister and be ministered too. And I know I am here to grow. (Also have a little fun on the side!) So I need to stop worrying, work hard, and let the Good Sheppard lead me. A week ago if you would have asked me what college meant to me I would have said “stress” but after going to God it seems like so many new doors have been opened to the meaning of college for me. I think letting go will let the adventure of college just happen. And If I simply do this one task I am sure college is going to become a word I think fondly of at the end of the whole experience.

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Phillipians 4:6

Thanks for reading!

Karlie